In a rowboat, on a lake, the self-actualized man rested,
both oars drawn in, on his lap. The class, in rows, watched
as our high school health teacher held him up,
projected on the screen behind her,
as the model of what we should all aim for. Next slide.

Cathy was the teacher’s first name.
We called her by her last but what that was, I forget.
She had freckles, a big, healthy body
and she wore plaid skirts as she tried, three times a week,
to guide us through the seventies with pictures from the fifties.

The car crash on prom night: we saw that slide,
borrowed from Driver’s Ed. The sneaky way that certain types
of alcohol, measured out in beakers, equaled
their seemingly stronger cousins, and in golden straw, overflowing,
a rich cornucopia of all the world’s pharmaceuticals. 

I had friends who made a point of never
coming to that class unstoned.
And while all of us in the back rows smirked,
she actually gave us that line about how much happier
she was to be “high on life.”

In her defense, I have to say that she did not, in fifties fashion,
warn us against the dangers of masturbation.
She assured us it was perfectly fine. “Go ahead,” she said,
“give yourselves a big hand!” No. But you see how it is: even now,
the subject evokes bad jokes, laughter, nervousness.