Of course it was animus projection
or neurosis or even a psychotic
episode. It was codependence and
lack of proper attachment to home.

It was my search for god, as you said,
my Dionysian-lack. My yen to frequent
artists. My weakness for Italian males.
Call it a recherche du temps perdu

(we were fifty). It was my Emily Dickinson
quest for a spiritual love and a fatal
infatuation. It was my old trick of giving
in order to receive, my compulsive obsession.