Where it's rubbed out, start there, where it's torn
where something like a burn in cloth the hot
metal pressed too long, forgotten

                                in paper the wormhole,
the eaten up, the petal frayed browning
at the edges the flower's
flesh like cigarette paper

consumed by the breath sucked back into
the body: yes, body, that's what
that is what—no, I'm not stalling    body

is what I mean to talk about, what I have
on my mind    in my mind    my mind
in the body    of the body

and what's disturbing, yes, that above all: the joy
right there in her face, the girl's, as if she
had been smacked with it, the big fish joy

a cold hard wet smack by something flailing out, this
joy thing throwing itself around

or as if someone had thrown a pudding, a thick batter
and now her face was trying to work its way
through that mess, yes, joy, the mess

the ugliness of it because it has not yet
been practiced, the mouth trying out
positions before the mirror    the mouth

performing little sounds up and down the scale
of pleasure    the joy not yet prepared
for anyone else to look at    the shock like

a flashbulb going off, a camera
pouncing before one is ready    before
one has run the tongue over    taken a bite

out of the smile    hands arranging the hair
the girl looks all doors open, the sheer
weight of her coming starting

to come and her body sucking it back
inhaling each tooth of bliss
running her fingers up and down the comb