I might as well begin by saying how much I like the title.
It gets me right away because I'm in a workshop now
so immediately th~ poem has my attention
like the ancient mariner grabbing me by the shirt.

And I like the first few stanzas,
the way they establish this mode of self-pointing
that runs through the whole poem
and tells us the words are food thrown down
on the ground for other words to eat .
I can almost taste the tail of the snake
in its own mouth,
if you know what I mean.

But what I'm not sure about is the voice
which sounds in places very casual, very blue jeans,
but other times seems very standoffish,
professorial in the worst sense of the word,
like the poem was going to be on the final.
But maybe that's just me.

What I did find engaging were the middle stanzas,
especially the fourth.
I like the image of clouds flying like lozenges,
which gives me a very clear picture.
And I really like how this drawbridge operator
just appears out of the blue
with his feet up on the iron railing
and his fishing pole jigging—I like jigging—
a hook in the slow industrial canal below.
I love slow industrial canal below. All the l's.

Maybe it's just me,
but the next stanza is where I start to have a problem.
I mean how can the evening bump into the stars?
And what's an obbligato of snow?
Also, I roam the decaffeinated streets.
At that point I'm lost. I need help.