Like I get this phone call from Shirley MacLaine,
it's the middle of the night, right,
she's all confused about time,
and she's like how in this previous existence
I was maybe a nomenclator for a forum,
only I was crucified
for incompetence,
which was totally really bogus,
so then I became a logothete in Constantinople,
and I got to wear one of those hats
that look kind of like bandaged volley balls,
but I was way unorthodox,
so they put my eyes out,
you know on purpose,
which was way unempowering,
so then I became a soteriologist
in this library in this monastery in Switzerland,
but there was a problem, sheepskin makes my nose stress,
I was probably already vegetarian only I didn't know,