after St. Anne of Weston, who celebrated her uterus

My internist said you are unnaturally large.
Had I caught gonorrhea from some co-ed?
(In my encyclopedia, you come right between

prosody and prostitution, just before
prosthesis. Alphabetization makes
strange bedfellows.) Once chestnut-size,

you’ve expanded, he said, into a tennis ball.
I told him no score, no love, but I was
urinating with uncommon frequency:

You are like an unruly child—a real pisser.
You are like a porn star—the great climax
a golden shower. Well, not always a shower—

sometimes you just peter out, dribbles
and drabs. It began when I found blood
in my semen, red curled into white

like a viscous Christmas candy-cane.
It whirled down the drain like blood
in Hitchcock’s Psycho. I told the doctor

I thought you’d given me cancer. Prostate.
(For men of a certain age. Prostate Cancer
is all the rage. I have pals who’ve had

an orchidectomy—such a flowery name
for such a final and hideous disfigurement,
testicles snipped away like a blossom.

I have a fifty-something friend who,
when asked, “Do you wear Jockey shorts
or Boxers?”, grimaced and replied, “Depends.”)

So I was sure I had the big C. “Does it
burn when you urinate?” “Never.” “Do you
have trouble getting it up?” “No, my problem