One day I went and bought a fake fur coat
from two old ladies in a discount shop
no young woman should have walked into: taupe

fluff with leopard spots for four hundred bucks
which I charged—no cash till my paycheck—
admired by the two old saleslady crooks.

Five minutes later I was at my shrink’s
casually shoving the bag by a chair,
one arm flopping out synthetically. Trinkets,

all belonging to my crooked grandmother,
floated across the wall already filled with the shrink’s
trinkets. Afterwards, among the minks

on the street, I caught sight of my grandmother,
in a shopwindow. The wind was howling.
I wore the fake coat with a babushka. Another

possibility was: that was me. I didn’t
have four hundred dollars and felt humiliated
by what I had acted out and berated

myself for buying a blazer in the size
of my sister the week before! You MESS!
I called myself a lot of names. Eyes

on the bus looked up when I barrelled on
in the coat I couldn’t return to the store.
I refused to go shopping alone anymore.