for Matthew Zapruder

So it is that I meet your father on the same page
as an ad for $8,900 pre-owned cars, INVENTORY JUST UPDATED.
Looking at the picture used in the obituary,
I’d peg your Pops as a secret admirer
of Ferraris, too smart to own one but the red dream
costs nothing, complete with downshifting
through Italian curves. Plenty of past tense to come: he looks
like a happy man, a sense of wind just under the skin,
smile opening like a sail. This is rehearsal for me.
My father’s heart turns more fictitious by the day,
a different kind of metaphor, one of failure, silence.
There’s a saying that we don’t grow up until our parents
die. Are you half grown today, just getting back to things,